Thursday, May 14, 2009

Where did April go???

I utterly changed my life in April but somehow it is all still the same. Grin. And, here we are in Mid-May and I am only returning to this blog by gentle reminder....

What would happen if you stopped doing everything that you have no will to do and endeavored only in your true desires?

That is my current mission to identify what I want to do and to do it. It seems like this would be easy. Laughing. All I want to do is to write, mother my kids, be with my lover, and do the spiritual work of Freemasonry. A four-pronged approach to life, an activity for each direction, and it seems so simple.

What have I done? I've set myself up to teach writing instead, and not realizing the complexity of actually teaching more than one class and several private students, I have completely over-scheduled myself. Do you see teaching in my four-pronged approach? It's not that I don't have a great deal to share, or that I dislike students. I do have a lot to share, and I am devoted to my students. However, now that I have so many teaching gigs going, I now realize that these endeavors do NOT support my four-pronged approach to life for the most part. Even financially, the pay off is not so hot.

Once again I am caught in the feeling of having to let people down in order to get back on track. It's all a learning curve thing. Until I have enough information, I find it difficult to simply quit something I once thought was a great idea. I thought that teaching writers would actually inspire me, and I am inspired, but more than that I am frustrated. I don't have time to address my own inspirations! A whole month went by and I didn't even blog...

Then I have to forgive myself, because in April I also did a few other things besides over-schedule myself professionally...

I got married to my sweet man. I took care of an entire family of sick people (mine) and I let go of my old job at the Boulder JCC, slowly, over the whole month.

Like most women, I am hard on myself, forgetting that most of my life is dedicated to the care of others. I accomplished a lot in that area. I pat myself on the back. I am learning.

2 comments:

Nelia said...

I hate to be so incredibly intrusive, but this seems the only way to contact you directly. I'm interested in taking your screenwriting course in Denver, but have an erratic travel schedule (I travel to Cambodia infrequently). If I miss a class, would it be possible to make that class up in a future series?

KosmicEgg said...

Nelia, duh, just figured out how to work this comment thing...

Hopefully, you can now reach me directly w/o me publishing my address world-wide.

Let me know...