Chapter Ten - Part Three - POV II

Philosophically, taking a point of view means that you've invested in a belief about a situation. It is so interesting to me to allow myself to take the time to question my stories with the idea that I ought to have a point of view about the outcome because for the last decade or so I've been working a lot with the concept of detachment. Detachment is not the same as disassociation, but it is a fine line. Detachment to me means that I accept that I don't have control over the outcome of a situation though I have intent. I'm not sure intent is strong enough to form a point of view. I think of my friends who chose the path of attorney, and how they must fight for what they believe the outcome should be, and find myself too willing to look at the other side of things.

So I return to my potential orchard site. Placed on a hill with an uplift of 8%, I admit it is dangerously facing towards the Western sun. The Western sun represents the afternoon of life. In some Eastern traditions it represents the decadence of the West, the cocoon of stuff and points of view we've built around ourselves, the illusion that we have control. In European legend the West represents a final frontier, an opportunity for new beginnings. It used to be a real place, but of course, now we have a world where there really is no West because the further we go West the sooner we reach the East. Now the West is just a symbol, an idea, a point of view.

For an orchard facing the west can be okay...if there are no winds. The winds from the West can alter the growth of trees by steady pressure. I'd say this is a definite symbol for me. The pressure of life itself is like that wind. I don't have the luxury of youth to believe that I'll eventually get to the right time in my life to get this thing planted. I can't just rip down the fields planted on the Eastern, protected slope of my life because they are filled with the crops of motherhood. So, it's going to be the Western slope. The afternoon of my life. Life is going to necessarily shape my point of view to be much more specific than it might have been earlier.

My point of view is the camera through which I peer at my story. Through that camera I open and close the aperture of my gaze until I've got a razor-sharp focus on what I actually believe about life and it's outcomes. Maybe I will end up fighting for my belief that I have no control over the outcomes except how I respond, how I accept, and how flexible I am in my move on.